All that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Saturday, September 22, 2007
September 22, 2007
When will I stop thinking about him all the time? I am so tired of it. I try to stop my mind from going there I really do. It would be nice to wake up in the morning, have my coffee, and get my bearings for at least an hour before thoughts of him start taking over. It has been 2 weeks since our last talk. I have not went and met him. I am kinda proud of that. Especially considering I think about doing it everyday. I talk myself out of it. I try to remind myself all that has happened and how more often than not it has been a source of frustration and sadness for me. If my mind would just go back over the last few months and leave it at that I would be fine. But I tend to think back over the years we have known each other and the memories are too hard to keep down. I realize it takes time. I just want the time to pass more quickly. I am sick of this taking control of my thoughts, my emotions, hell my life.
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4 comments:
When will I stop thinking about him all the time?
I think the most important thing is time.. and what truly makes it better is when you find someone better. Because, they are out there :)
scotty is right. Time is what you need.
Hang in there. You're doing the right thing.
It's got to get better-I think we all need to believe that at one time or another . . .and almost always? we are right. Don't give up hope-I don't know how or when it happens . . .but it does.
Do not accept his calls anymore. He can not respect the rules you have given him. He breaks the conduct that was set forth.
I do not have all the issues, but he still married a woman who he wants to cheat on (no matter if his mother forced him into a marriage, no matter if she is a bitch, no matter what - he should not have married her and then he could go out and do what he does). GIANT RED WARNING LIGHT. He is willing and wanting to deceive people who are close to him or his wife is not close to him and he is just using her. Never sup with a snake, never.
If he did this to her, if he breaks the rules you laid before him, if he continues to seek out sexual relations from you or others... how could you trust him? Isn't that the basis of relationship with anyone from friends to lovers, wives, husbands, your pets. How can you feel safe with his words which now mean so little.
Hon you are better then him. You are stronger then him and I am nothing but impressed... you are amazing. keep up the good work and please realize that he is a rat bastard.
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