May 23, 2007

Been a while! Things have been crazy around here! Mostly with my daughter. She is a senior this year and we have been finalizing everything for the big graduation soon. I cannot believe my baby girl is graduating High School! It is so weird. I am so proud of her and happy for her, but at the same time I am so sad. How in the world am I gonna make it without her here everyday? She is such a presence. I have been trying not to think about it since it is still a few months away, but it's hard.

She had her senior prom a couple weeks ago. That was so fun! Do you remember your senior prom? It brought back so many memories for me. She, of course was beautiful! I swear by the time I bought the dress, shoes, purse, jewelry, tanning minutes, and she had her hair, finger and toe nails done, I spent as much as I did on me on my wedding day! She is so worth it though! She had a good time even though her date cancelled on her about 2 weeks before. She had been "talking" to this guy for a couple of months and they had planned on going to prom together. Then, he goes on spring break to some island off the coast of Texas and falls in love with a girl he met there! Can you believe it?!! She took it really well and it helped that there were a bunch of her friends who were going alone. They all got together, along with a few couples, and went. I think there were 14 kids at my house for pictures before hand! She had a good time but I don't think it was all she thought it was gonna be. I remember that too. You build something like that up in your mind so much that when the day finally arrives and you are done getting ready there's not much left. It's a High School dance. Period! I remember walking in and getting our picture taken and then it was "so yeah, this is boring!"

So I'm still seeing both of my men friends. Lame, I know. I go back and forth on what I want. Obviously I would love to have a man who was right for me. Someone that I could share all of my life with, not just parts of it and some of them a secret. My kids are growing up so fast and I think my current circumstances worked out great when they needed so much of my time and attention. Now, however, my situation is changing. I am changing. But how do I tell 2 men that I absolutely love and want in my life that if I could combine the 2 of them I would be perfectly content? I feel like such a bad person.